媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現
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媳婦的辭職信:在婚姻裡我選擇不當媳婦,勇敢抛下婆家束縛後,奇蹟竟一一出現

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我以為努力當個好妻子、媽媽、媳婦婚姻就會幸福,
於是把自己的感受埋在深處,盡力配合婆家,
但我和丈夫的距離卻越來越遠,也失去了孩子的尊重和快樂。
反正没什麼好失去的了,我鼓起勇氣對公婆交出了媳婦辭職信,
想不到,奇蹟開始一一出現……

★一個平凡女人的真實故事,引發韓國社會爆炸性的討論。
★「只讀了前二章,就哭到不能自已。」讀者坦言。


「在職場上不管工作再久都可以辭職,為什麼媳婦這個角色不想當的時候,卻不能那樣做呢?難道不想當媳婦,只有離婚或死亡這兩種方法嗎?我不想通過這兩種方式結束媳婦的角色。我只是想脫下『媳婦』這件外衣。」

作者金英朱是大家族的長媳,也是兩個小孩的媽媽。她和丈夫婚前十分相愛,以為和自己愛的人結婚,就能開始過幸福的人生。婚後英朱與公婆同住,公婆雖好,但同住的沉重壓力,讓她不敢表達心中的想法,經常得勉強自己去配合公婆的生活。時間久了,她只得把自己的感受埋在心底最深處,以為只要自己配合,公婆開心、老公開心,她就能越來越幸福?但是,婚後的日子,她與先生的距離卻越來越遠,有了孩子之後,和公婆之間也因為孩子的教養問題,心裡累積著許多委曲。

原本以為婚姻會是幸福的,但她卻越來越不快樂,所愛的丈夫也似乎變成了陌生人,該是幸福的婚姻卻往不幸的地方加速前去。

她不希望女兒看著她的背影長大,過著與她相同的人生。於是在中秋節前夕,她決心對公婆提出辭職,不再當媳婦了!

對公婆提出辭職後,原以為公婆會大怒,想不到他們平靜的接受了,相反的,大力反對的竟是自己的母親?於是,她開始思考自己的問題和婚姻的困境。

這不是一本咒罵公婆的媳婦日記,金英朱說她的公婆人很好,但她依舊覺得痛苦。更別說是嫁入家庭更加傳統的女性,會有多麼辛苦。而讓人痛苦的傳統包袱大多是從小到大束縛住女性的觀念,有時我們並不輕易發現,但卻已不合時宜,更可怕的是它已傷害到婚姻。

為什麼相愛的兩個人,結婚後卻不再相愛?
為什麼婚後努力扮演好媳婦、好太太、好媽媽,卻感受不到幸福?
為什麼該支持自己的丈夫,卻總是要我忍耐?
  
作者透過自身的經驗反思這些問題,經過了數年的時間,察覺內在的問題,培養自己的力量,放下不知不覺從小就背負在她身上的女性束縛。

原本以為會以離婚收場的悲慘人生,竟大逆轉。
於是,人生的奇蹟,在她的下半場一一出現……


這是一個真實的、勇敢的、重新找回自己和愛的女人故事。
同時也存在著妳的故事,妳的眼淚,妳的出路……

作者的話:
「婚後的日子,就像生活在黑暗漫長的隧道。我身在其中,來回徘徊不停,被困得喘不過氣來,但卻回不去也走不出來。當時,我真的很想聽聽那些曾走出來的人的故事。所以,我鼓起勇氣寫出這本書,就是為了幫助對像過去的我那樣,在婚姻中感到寂寞痛苦的人。我想要告訴你們,每個人都具有,可以過著不同人生的力量,不管現在的你,處境有多麼艱難,一定都可以改變,過著自在幸福的人生。」

名人推薦
    
艾彼心理師、諮商心理師/王昱勻
知名作家、律師娘/林靜如
眼科醫師/黃宥嘉
諮商心理師、《心理界限》作者/楊嘉玲
繪星心理治療所、臨床心理師/蔡珮琦
文字工作者/諶淑婷

好評推薦
「如果可以,我希望這本書可以隨著婚宴喜餅一起發送。」──文字工作者、人母、人妻、人子與媳婦/諶淑婷

「女孩們都將學會,委屈、犧牲不會換來愛,唯有把自己活好、說清楚,才有幸福的可能。」──諮商心理師、心理界限作者/楊嘉玲

「作者從婚姻困境中努力找回自我後,夫妻、婆媳關係也出現轉機。原來辭職並非斷絕來往,而是找到對的相處位置。」──繪星心理治療所、臨床心理師/蔡珮琦

「女人婚後的生活,並不只是換張床睡那麼簡單。比起在婚姻中受苦的女性,我認為不解老婆為何想離婚的丈夫更該打開這本書!」──艾彼心理師、諮商心理師/王昱勻

 目錄
推薦序1 從婚姻浪漫的幻想中醒過來  諶淑婷
推薦序2 把自己活好,才有幸福的可能 楊嘉玲
作者序 身為媳婦、妻子、媽媽的女人們,妳們過得好嗎?

第一部   媳婦的辭職信
第1章 –決心不再當媳婦、妻子、媽媽
對不起,我不要再當媳婦了
怎麼會醒來就到了急救室
我不想再跟你生活,只能到此為止了
這個監獄,怎麼這樣難走出去
我和兒女的獨立練習

 第2章 –關於我消失了的人生
藏我鞋子的人,為何是婆婆
被時間、場所、角色限制住的人生
孩子呀,長媳是上天給妳的職責
有名無實的婚姻生活
拜託,要抽菸去外面抽
對我來說外面比家更舒適
愚昧的相信,女生必須溫馴乖巧
為了自己舉起了刀和燈火
練習獨立,從害怕中找到自信

 第二部   找尋自己
第3章 –通過夢境面對自己
作夢,打開潛意識的箱子
從重複的夢中找出意義
結束代代相傳的不幸
再怎樣努力也無法順利上廁所
沒有手和手被綁起來的夢
關於死亡的夢,新的開始
 
第4章 – 我和你是照出對方的鏡子
我們是彼此的鏡子
在夢中常出現的人
通過改變主語來面對自己
我很厲害也很優秀
從內心開始解脫
           
第三部  不當媳婦之後
第5章 – 展開一人份的人生
女人要過一人份的人生
不當媳婦後的奇蹟,還有完全不同的節日
我的主婦休息年,我不做飯
先生開始站在我這邊
女兒和兒子的獨立,以及後來
不管怎樣,都要有自己的工作室
先生的幸福來自哪裡
從幻想的愛情中醒過來
越能接受對方,關係就越近
優先照顧好自己

後記
附錄 : 鏡子練習

・寬恕自己的方法
・發現內在的力量
・從內心開始解脫
 
 

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